I’m nothing more than a paper marking, pencil pushing, ink flinging, paint placing brush bum.
My posture is sad, my ergonomics are bad,
And I’ve got a hunch it’s from hunching over doodles and drawings,
Curving my spine while I lay down the lines.
I’m not a sketchy fellow, but I like to sketch,
From Casper Wyoming where I’m drawn to my fiancée and pets.
I’m best known for singing in an unknown punk rock band, that traveled the country in a small touring van.
But for now, as it stands, in my current position, I’m a freelance Lance, working on commission.
So if you’re in need of some art for your business or band, give me some money,
And I’ll give you a hand.
I’m professional and dedicated to what I do.
If you don’t believe me, just read my reviews.
“Lance Inkwell is professional and dedicated to what he does.” –Lance’s Mom
“Lance Inkwell is a 10 out of 10!” –Lance’s fiancée
“The guy can draw, but he’s god awful at poetry.” -Every poet who’s ever lived
“I don’t know anything about art, but like, I think Lance probably does.” –Teenage girl
“My kid came home from a rock show with a shirt that had a design drawn by Lance Inkwell, I made him take it off and burn it.” –Concerned Parent
“I keep telling Lance to draw me a tattoo, even though he’s not a tattoo artist. I realize his drawing will most likely have to be rendered by a real tattoo artist to be tattoo-able, and I could probably get a better tattoo if I just let a real tattoo artist design it from the start, but I figure Lance likes to draw, which means I’ll just assume that he wants to draw me something that he doesn’t want to draw, for free.” –Annoying People
“To commission art by Lance Inkwell, please go to "Contact" in my menu, and give as much detail as you can as to what it is that you want drawn up. Lance will promptly get back to you. Thank you.”